Tired Mommy Tales

We get to pick our own theme for this week’s Working Mommy Wednesday and write about whatever we want!

This is a really busy time of year at work.  New groups are coming on board for the upcoming January 1.  Existing groups are deciding whether they are going to continue their coverage with us to move to a new carrier.  Of course, we still have the everyday reporting and service issues to deal with.  So I’ve worked late a couple nights to keep up as  much as I can.

Last night was one of those nights.  Keith and I made plans to have him pick up Brooke from school and all that fun stuff.  When I got home around 8:30, she had already gone to bed.  The first thing I did was go upstairs and take a peek at her.  She was snoring away in her cute little pink Minnie Mouse jammies looking so sweet and peaceful.  Keith filled me in on their night and felt a pang of jealousy that he was there and I wasn’t. 

When she woke up this morning, she called for Daddy.  I was only gone one night and she’d already moved on!!!  Then when I dropped her off at school, I hugged her a little longer because it seemed too soon to be saying goodbye again.  Sitting at my desk this morning I was sad that I’d only seen her awake for a less than an hour of the past 24.

This all comes to me as quite ironic after remembering our last weekend.  This football season in general has been hard on me.  Trying to keep our household functioning essentially by myself has worn me down to almost nothing.  So while Keith was traveling with the football team last weekend, Brooke and I were home alone.  On Saturday, we had one of the first Mother/Daughter Showdowns that we will experience.  She was not interested in obeying me and I had lost what little patience I have/had left.  I was mad at Brooke for being “bad”, mad at Keith for being gone, mad at me for not being able to handle it, mad at anything and everything I could think of.  I wanted a break from caring for a 2 year old by myself.  So I finally get that break, albeit by working late, and I bemoan missing out on those moments with her.

Moms, do you get those same feelings?  You desperately need to get away but once you get the opportunity you desperately miss your kids??

Today on Working Mommy Wednesday we’re spilling our Mommy confessions.  Here’s my confession:  It can be lonely to have someone with you all the time.

People assume that working moms get all kinds of social interaction while they’re at their jobs but for me, that’s not the case.  I spend a majority of my day in my cubicle staring at a computer screen.  My team works in different locations throughout our region and only a few are in my office.  I’ve had days where I’ve literally not spoken to anyone.

Then I pick up Brooke and come home.  I scramble to make dinner with the kiddo under my feet.  Dinner conversation with a 2 year old is hardly rivoting and usually involves endless requests for Barney.  Then its up to bed for Brooke and I head back downstairs to clean up the kitchen play on the computer or watch TV.

On weekends, I try to come up with fun things for Brooke and I to do.  Many times though, its not worth the effort or I’m trying to either catch up or get ahead on household chores.  In addition, most moms’ groups and playdates I found get scheduled for weekdays when I’m at work.

With Keith’s work schedule there’s not much use in trying to find something to do without the kiddo.  Not to mention the typical working mom guilt trip in my head that makes me want to spend each available moment with her to make up for the times I’m not able.

This post feels like its become a pity party but I just find it ironic that now that I have something in common with so many other women, I feel quite alone.