Tag: pregnancy

Our Angel Baby

Posted on by Sarah Marshall

Last fall, on September 8th, I saw two lines on a home pregnancy test. Faint but they were there.

On September 17th, we gave up hope that the pregnancy would last.

In my gut, I knew there was a reason the lines on the many pregnancy tests I took were not getting any darker. It didn’t stop me from looking for reassurance on the Internet that it was possible that it meant nothing, a full term pregnancy could still happen. But deep down, I knew.

Blood was drawn and each time, I had to tell the nurse why.

“I think I’m losing my baby”

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Day

Today is recognized as Infant & Pregnancy Loss Rememberance Day. Unfortunately, this affects more families than I think most people are aware.

In the grand scheme, I believe I was fortunate that my experience wasn’t as bad as it could have been. It happened very early on. I sensed something wasn’t right from the beginning. I didn’t suffer physically. We got pregnant again only a few weeks later. So many have it much worse.

My heart aches for those whose circumstances are more trying. Even when you know you didn’t do anything wrong or that there was a reason your baby didn’t survive, there is a hole in your heart that won’t ever be filled.

The hardest part for me is the wondering. Was that baby a boy or a girl? Would there be as much resemblance to Brooke? What milestone would be reached today or tomorrow?

There are times I feel like its wrong to have those thoughts. After all, if that baby had survived, Leah wouldn’t be in our lives and its hard to imagine life without her.

But its only natural to wonder about what could have been and it doesn’t mean I don’t treasure Leah with every ounce of my being.

Tonight, folks around the world will light a candle at 7pm their local time, participating in the International Wave of Light to honor and remember those babies lost in pregnancy or early in their short lives. I will be doing so and invite you to as well.

Have you or someone close to you experience the loss of a pregnancy or infant? Feel free to share your story in the comments.

35 down, 35 to go

Posted on by Sarah Marshall

Yesterday I reached the 35 week mark. This is my favorite milestone because at 35 weeks, you have 35 days to your due date. I like the matchy matchy.

So when most people look at me and hear my due date, I get some type of shocked reaction. One bold guy at work even said “You’re not gonna make it until then”. So yes, I’m anticipating another good sized baby. Brooke was 8lbs, 13oz and born a little over a week early. Although I’m skeptical of how accurate ultrasound estimates are, Baby Girl was thought to be around the 5.5lb mark at 32 weeks. They say that baby gains about half a pound per week at the end so its feasible that we’ll have another 8+ pounder.

It’s been another long stretch between updates but time and energy have been limited for me in recent weeks. Fortunately, like with Brooke, this pregnancy has been pretty uneventful. I have the normal pregnancy woes – heartburn, hard time getting comfy at bedtime, feeling like Baby Girl is trying to claw her way out through my belly, body temperature at least 10 degrees higher than anyone else nearby, lower backache, waddling when I walk….all that good stuff.

Big Sister putting finishing touches on Baby Sister's crib
Big Sister putting finishing touches on Baby Sister’s crib

Even though it feels like the to-do lists are never ending, we’ve gotten lots of stuff accomplished. The crib is ready for a baby, dresser and closet are now full of baby clothes, blankets and diapers. Diaper stash is good enough to get us started – I got a little bit of each type until we figure out what works best for us. Keith and I attended the “First Time Birth Center Childbirth” class and now we have a good idea of what to expect at go-time.

What’s left…well Brooke and I are planning to install the car seat this weekend. That’s really the only thing that HAS to be done before Baby Girl comes. Oh – and pick out a name but I guess technically that can wait until she’s here.  Other things are stuff that needs to be done but if something crazy happened, we’d survive without. Things like getting our bags ready to take to the birth center, stocking up the freezer and pantry, a gift for Brooke from Baby Sister, buying a few last minutes baby items, etc.

If you want to place your bets on when Baby Girl will be here and how big she’ll be, don’t forget about our ExpectNet game.

My Oh My, It’s the Third Tri

Posted on by Sarah Marshall

30 weeks

I’ve been slacking a little on my updates…I’m kinda in that stage that not a whole lot changes so haven’t really felt like I had enough blog-worthy to share. I’m not too terribly uncomfortable yet, still have energy, can sleep at night, all that good stuff. And looking back, I don’t remember a time at the end of my pregnancy with Brooke when I was just ready for it to be over. Hopefully that will be the case this time too.

Yesterday was the 30 week mark and I’ve been in my third trimester for 2 weeks now. I can’t believe we are 10 weeks or less from having this baby! Ack!! At the same time, a couple friends of ours have had their babies and I’m jealous that they’re snuggling their newborns. Guess ya can’t win for losin’!

I had a midwife appointment at 28 weeks and Baby Girl’s heartbeat sounded good and we measured exactly on target. Yes, I measured right on so everyone who keeps asking if I’m going to go any day now…NO! I have two months to go! My next appointment we’ll get one more ultrasound and I’m looking forward to seeing Baby Girl a little bigger! I’m curious how big they’ll estimate her to be.

FYI: Fruit Punch is better than Orange!!

I did have issues with the results of my 1 hour glucose test so had to go back a couple days later and do the 3-hour. Not that I was expecting it to be a spa day but it wasn’ t fun.  The first hour really hit me hard and I felt yucky, for lack of a better word.  I was sleepy, jittery, naseous…yuck!  I was worried about it until the lady drawing my blood told me that most people will have some kind of reaction which makes sense when you figure you ingest 100g of glucose in less that 10 minutes.  I haven’t heard anything from the birth center so I’m choosing to assume that meant everything was fine. No news is good news, right?

While Keith’s parents were in town they helped get Baby Girl’s dresser assembled. Now I just need to start putting some clothes and stuff in there. I also took some time over the weekend to inventory the cloth diapers we already have, what we have on our registry, and what we might still need to add.

I’ve started realizing that now is the time to really start thinking about getting my mind and body ready for labor. I’ve been drinking lots more water and raspberry leaf tea, getting out and walking during breaks at work, reading birth books (I’m working on this one right now). One of the midwives I saw recently suggested working on relaxation techniques so I’ve been taking nice warm baths whenever I have the chance since I plan to take advantage of the birthing tubs during labor. I also REALLY need to get on the ball and get a doula lined up. I think that will be my goal by the end of the month!

If you haven’t yet, you can still place a guess on what Baby Girl’s birth stats will be on the ExpectNet poll!

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