So in addition to preparing ourselves for the reintroduction of a newborn to the household, Keith and I are also wading through the unfamiliar waters of 4-year-old-hood. In talking with some online mommy friends, its seems we are not the only ones dealing with this crazy, confusing, frustrating stage. While that carries some level of comfort that just maybe we aren’t doing EVERYTHING wrong, in the moment its just all kinds of aggravating.
Some of the phrases that can be heard at various times in our house lately:
“It’s Not Fair!”
I’m pretty sure Brooke doesn’t really understand the concept of what is fair or not because more times than not, she uses this in a context that makes absolutely no sense. Whether I’ve told her its time to put the iPod away or that her favorite purple shirt cannot be worn today because she wore it two days ago and its in the wash, I have committed an injustice that just cannot be tolerated and she will let me know.
“You’re Not My Best Friend” / “You Can’t Come to my Birthday”
One of the “joys” of having a child in a daycare/preschool setting I’ve discovered is that they learn the art of emotional warfare early on. It becomes instinct to cut right to the emotions of those who you feel have wronged you. So if I’ve particularly offended her or said something she did not want to hear, I can expect a “You’re Not My Best Friend!!” in response.
Imagine her frustration when I tell her that I’m not supposed to be her best friend, I’m her mommy.
And when Brooke feels the need to change things up, there is always the withdrawn invitiation to her birthday party. This one has been around since about the day after her last birthday party but has been used less frequently as time goes on. I’m not sure if that’s because she forgets about it or if it’s because of my reminders that without Mommy running the show, there really isn’t much of a birthday party.
“How ‘Bout….”
Ever the little negotiator, Brooke is rarely satisifed with the first response. I say she can have a cookie, she tries to get two out of me. Keith tells her we have time for 2 books, she asks for a third. While there are times when her request is perfectly reasonable and we’re willing to accomodate, I think Keith and I have both found a need to establish that not everything is up for negotiation and sometimes what we say is the Final Answer. If you’re curious how that goes, see #1 above!
All joking aside, while this phase has brought its challenges and frustratons, there are so many moments when I look at my little girl and wonder where my baby went. Whether its watching her work at writing her letters correctly, concentrate on clearing her dishes from the table without dropping anything or sort through laundry for her Baby Sister, I can help but smile and be proud of the little person she’s becoming.
Sounds like she’s growing up & you’re handling things patiently. Cute little phrases coming from a cute little girl.
I miss Brook but she is growing up just fine because you have God on your side in raising her and He will help on those difficult days when things are not fair.